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No Excuses

by Ryan Hillier

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    A lovely tangible object containing the complete album on a compact disc, suitable for high quality listening on road trips or in your home. Featuring photography by Jacques Cormier and layout design by Jocelyne Vautour.

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1.
It's all good, everything is fine Another dead kid, and more money in the pipeline Out on the street, you feel the heat - The cold looks and the crucifixion Everything is fine, it's all good The water's boiling in the whole neighbourhood These hateful hands break up the band Deal the cards and shed the blame In the bubble everything is clean and safe Don't want no trouble don't want nothing to do with your Race to the top, it never stopped Since Leo & Carney in that Prince Albert gun shop Lachance died, Nerland went to hide under RCMP protection Forget the precedent – it's shocking and new every time And now to Stanley's friends, killing ain't even a crime And it's weighing on my mind. Who are we, if we set killers free and Ignore dark clouds of white supremacy? Silence is complicity Your fear is your only enemy If we give in we won't get far No we won't get far We won't get far
2.
In Time 02:56
In time, I'll have no blood left to bleed And I won't worry any more. Take one good look and see A thousand yards on distant shores We're not waiting for a thing A bridge to burn to keep us cold Sink this ship to stay afloat I hope It will all make sense I'm heaven-sent, disconnected from truth Always talking to Reach into the blue Now, returned to my home Surrounded yet alone With two hands behind my back Nervous from the lack of knowing where I stand On the edge, and leaning in The wind telling me it's been worse I repeat this noble curse all night Until I dream of the desert Until I dream of the sea Until I'm lost inside the jungle Until I wash up on that beach Until I run and seek the shelter of a hole inside the ground Until the Earth erupts around me and I am deafened by the sound Of one hundred million reasons, none of which are too profound You can't ask a man to fight for peace when he does not understand that the scars he bears won't wash away like the blood upon his hands. So I dream of the desert So I dream of the sea Until I'm lost inside the jungle Until I wash up on your beach.
3.
Where were the edges when you were a boy? Out on the ocean, too bright to ignore With reckless abandon, you pined for a life Not bound by the water, the earth, or the sky You saw the worst in the people you loved Now Gordie's in prison, Pam is mean on a buzz All things unwanted, wanting things that you lacked Drove you to start running and to never look back From home in Camano to the Elger Bay Stolen car to steal a plane out of Idaho State From Creston to Granite, you wouldn't be caught Crashed down in that forest where you fired the first shot Hard times and harder landings could not keep the bandit down And with every mile he yearned to go farther Leaving only the trace of bare feet on the ground Across the midwestern plains you ran Ditched cars, heat scores, break & entering Until Indiana and a new set of wings It's 1200 miles to the Caribbean The cops found the plane, but they couldn't find you Until one week later when your face, someone knew In a boat bound for Cuba, the chase had to end When they shot out the engine, you put the gun to your head Hard times and harder landings could not keep the bandit down And with every mile he yearned to go farther Leaving only the trace of bare feet on the ground Six years in prison, you said it was hell Now Gordie's long gone – Pam never got well. All for a dream you will not realize Colton Harris-Moore still looks to the sky.
4.
Slow Spirit 04:55
You may never notice But the fatalist has got the blues He will never show this Even when he takes those cues Everything you want And everything you have One and the same in service Of the present and the past I looked in your eyes and wondered why you had to leave so soon Slow spirit in a fast disguise watching everything move on through Help me see the world as you do Keep the evil at my back If I never meet you in this life, Let me feel the lack.
5.
Winding Road 04:08
I think this is the end of me Seems appropriate to make a speech The benefits of being high and lone Some whiskey bottle for a microphone Long night turned into day Turned into long night Do I just fade away? Keep it up and you might get hurt This burning out is just too much work I only make the best mistakes Handcrafted and so well-placed Blame myself because I could Use a bit more guilt, pile it up, like Would you like to see the next big thing? Look in the mirror. I'll look the other way. Stare down the winding road Streetlight sound and bitter cold Separate plans for a selfless man Pushing at the edges, locking all the doors Waiting for a reason to do it like before Punch in, check out. Ring me up for the next round. Sell me another version. One where this is working. In which I'm a different person. While away, take up a collection Make up a bunch of missed connections And try to recollect when the odds were in favour Of doing this whole thing better And passing pretension off as a trend Just like having friends Forgetting the pitfalls Phone calls and old halls Talking walls of sound with peeling painted reverb Bounced and mixed to shimmer In the light of every flame held high against the grain And stained with blood Bar shows, TV shows and no-shows Filling in, filling up and filling out All this paperwork, no clean shirts, arguing over who did what first Stare down the winding road Lets get found before it's all sold To the lowest bidder Overpaid quota hitters Factory farm team winners Hey, at least we got a free dinner out of the deal.
6.
Falling Into 03:11
Sometimes I wonder how I ever get out Of these holes I keep on falling into, these cracks in my mind Seems I could never say what I meant And I confess that in this mess, I nearly drowned trying to make sense Of this feeling like I'm leaving behind reason for what's untrue And the only one I ever wanted was the only one I had to lose Solitary nights Killing time while in the fog you hide Left with all the empty promises I keep To myself and no one else To be honest I don't care at all. I was waiting for that telephone. I used to wonder where it all went. Lost in the spaces where selfish love happens And never coming back Slow to heal, this bloody heart attack And hard to deal when the fear has the face of a friend How vicious you are when I let you in Everything I take Every miracle, every mistake Make my mind up Put me here I'll keep falling into heaven If it's near
7.
Down the path of illusion some are easily led Looking for absolution there the procession tread If you never let go You'll never live and let live Apropos of nothing everything is within You can eat your own heart out Just ask yourself why you hold it up so high And it's blinding me All these tunnel visionaries This canary's got to catch a flight The seatbelt sign is on And it's a little late in the day to start seeing the light On the road to ruin the way is paved in gold All the people you're foolin' won't save your soul If you never let go You'll never live and let live Apropos of nothing everything is within You can eat your own heart out Just ask yourself why you hold it up so high And it's blinding me All these tunnel visionaries This canary's got to catch a flight The seatbelt sign is on And it's a little late in the day to start seeing the light It's a little late in the day to start wondering why It's a little late in the day It's a little late to say goodbye
8.
Riding down the road in the middle of the night Hand out the window, feeling light Float upon the wind, come back down again Music so loud I can't hear myself sing This is what we know, we've got nowhere to go But we're not going to take it slow We just feel alive on this gentle Isle Sedan delivery is on the side This is where I live now With the past over my shoulder Where does the time go? I'll find out. Head down to the beach – there's a fire by the sea Brave New Waves will keep us company If we're too late, there's a party we can make This friend of a girl that my buddy used to date Let's hit the town, Charlotte's got the sound There's these new cats and they really put it down I've been meaning to see this show at the Legion Yes then we're all in agreement This is where I live now With the past over my shoulder Where does the time go? I'll find out when I am older.
9.
Silhouette 03:12
Walking a lonesome stretch Talking to a cigarette And thinking about the days gone by Head full of land and sea Hands full with her And I think that I might be past my prime But in another hour or two I'll stop feeling blue Or maybe one more trip down memory lane All the faces and the names and the beds where I have lain Conjuring spirits in the dark Be still my beating heart She thinks that I'm naive To think that I'll just leave without saying a word I'm reaching for a ghost And when I get so close The air disappears from my lungs My energy is spent In the winter of contentment With the writing on the wall to keep me warm My love stays the same Exes and old flames Even so, I'll just let it go. So tell me is it good enough? I always hold you up Look into the light to see the edges of your silhouette shining on me.
10.
Will you lay down all your troubles now? Will you lay down all your fears? Will you lay down all your nervous thoughts when you reach the end of the years? When you're alone with the world in your hands See how quickly we spin Balanced here like a plate between love & hate In a sea of far fires burning dim All that you are is the dust my dear All that you are is the breeze All that you are is a work of art A door to which you hold the key
11.
HBDR 00:30
12.
Peacekeeper 04:45
How many days did your memory set off a spark? How many nights did your wishes disappear in the dark? You could have caught it, but when? So fast now – not like then. In this fight, there is no winner In this fight, there is no faith In this race, there is no finish line Only horses out of breath With each step, a new beginning Every moment questioning the end The end of the war inside your head. If it were over, you could give all of your time to what you love. Such a beautiful thing, to rise above. The kings all sit in their high castles Indulging now upon the verge What little pieces can they now sell? What peace they keep for themselves. You are only a pawn now, Playing this game between heaven and hell. And fighting the war inside your mind. If it were over, you could find all of your dreams now coming true And setting you free You are not the first to see it You are not the last to know If the future is unwritten the truth is drawn on your soul The truth is drawn on your soul The truth is drawn on your soul

about

The result of a 3-year period of both intense personal reflection and determined work, Hillier's most musically ambitious project to date examines concepts of injustice, self-doubt, failure and redemption - to name a few. Recorded with producer Chris Colepaugh at his Sunburst Studios, and with The Divorcees as session band, this new collection of songs comes to life in a constellation of sometimes dreamy, sometimes gritty, but consistently captivating music with a message.

credits

released May 27, 2020

Written by Ryan Hillier

Arranged & performed by
Ryan Hillier - acoustic guitar, vocals
Denis ‘Turtle’ Arsenault - bass guitar
Kevin MacIntyre - drums & percussion
Alex Madsen - electric guitar
Shawn Thomas - electric guitar
Chris Colepaugh - additional guitars, lapsteel, banjo, dobro, vocals

Recorded & mixed by Chris Colepaugh at Sunburst Studios in Riverview NB
Produced by Chris Colepaugh
Mastered by Matthew Wiewel at Deadpan Studios in Sudbury ON
Photography by Jacques Cormier

Music produced in part through the financial assistance of the Government of New Brunswick and Music/Musique NB via the Music Industry Development program

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Ryan Hillier Moncton, New Brunswick

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